The Game

Fifty Shades of Drinking started when I read about a drinking game set to the books and decided I wanted to kill my liver.

Over the years that it took me to release the first 8 episodes, the game has somewhat evolved. Mainly because I get too drunk to remember the rules.

However, I’m also usually too drunk to remember what rules I’ve added. So here is the original game, in all its glory, which I loosely / somewhat follow on my quest to destroy my liver once and for all.

(This game is not written by me & I don’t claim ownership of it; I simply post it here so there is an easy reference to it for my viewers.)

The Original Drinking Game

The Unofficial 50 Shades of Grey Drinking Game

(and official sport of Troutnation)

by

Lacey, Troutnation’s Minister of Booze and Getting Sloshedness

Take a sip every time: (Sip, not shot, unless you’re indestructible)

  • “in that way”
  • flush/blush
  • murmur/mutter
  • Christian says some controlling dickish thing
  • Christian says some pretentious ass thing
  • bites her lip
  • “No!”
  • “oh my”
  • whenever she refers to him as “Fifty”
  • “what you do to me”
  • “fair point well made”
  • subconscious/inner goddess
  • Britishism
  • evil!blonde
  • racism/homophobia/misogyny/xenophobia
  • whenever Christian marks his territory
  • down there/other vague euphemism for vagina
  • “Dios mio!” (see: racism)
  • arguing over food/”hungry, but not for food”
  • stupid denigrating bitchy names for other women/supposed sexual competitors (see: misogyny)
  • “he starts to move, really move”
  • “it’s so hot”
  • creepy childish language/picture of Chris Hansen
  • “laters, baby”
  • The Situation
  • she is irrationally jealous of another woman, especially during an inappropriate time
  • she thinks about how much she needs to think about something/they talk about how they should talk
  • “artful”/”artfully”
  • whenever Taylor is awesome (it helps to picture him as Jesse Porter on Burn Notice)
  • “peek up through my eyelashes”
  • she thinks thirty is ancient
  • someone rolls their eyes

If you really want alcohol poisoning, drink every time:

  • “jeez”/”holy crap”/”double crap”/”holy cow”
  • bitchy comment about Kate
  • she says something about being terrified/afraid of him, wanting to hide or escape from him, &c.
  • she refers to him “beating” her
  • she does something she doesn’t want to do
  • “fifty shades of fucked up”
  • he commands her to orgasm
  • someone else calls her bright/intelligent
  • she does or says something incredibly stupid/clueless
  • someone else tells her how perfect she & Christian are, or how much she’s changed him
  • something happens or someone says/acts completely overdramatic
  • references to literary works, especially “Tess”
  • they communicate through music like 7th graders
  • “cocks their head”
  • she hugs herself

Originally posted at Trout Nation, Jenny Trout’s website, where I first started “reading” the Fifty Shades Series through her recaps.

Want to Play Along At Home?

I’d never recommend playing the same game I’m playing for the series, because that way lies eventual liver transplantation.

However, you can take a sip or shot (SIPS, take sips, I don’t want to be liable for your cirrhosis) any time I do or say any of the following things! I’ll be adding to the list as time goes on.

Drink every time…

  • I mispronounce Portland.
  • I stumble over my words, repeat myself, or mispronounce ANYthing else.
  • I am unable to count.
  • I burst into giggles.
  • I cry.
  • I mess up the order of words in a sentence. (Run her hair through his fingers. No, his hair through her fingers. SOMETHING THROUGH SOMETHING.)
  • I have a ragesplosion.
  • I complain about what I’m drinking.
  • I reference Eddie Izzard.
  • I make other obscure references.
  • I say Ana should consult her doctor.
  • My face gets REALLY RED (I have rosacea ok it’s a thing).
  • I do a weird voice.